September 27, 2011


Theories do not give final true knowledge, they give a way of looking at something. The very word “theoria” in Greek means “theatre” so it is the theatre of the mind which gives insight into the thing. 

September 26, 2011

Getting Old?

Saw a blackboard menu outside a pub the other day that said, "Over 55 Specials"!!! I'm going to have to go along just to see what they've got. I wonder if my driver's licence will suffice? Or can you go on wrinkles alone?

Choirs and Jam

Spent a week in Brighton and a week at home over the last fortnight. It feels almost as though we've moved in together already. We've both become accustomed to being around each other constantly for the last two weeks and now that the fortnight is over we both feel 'wrong' being apart. Life together just gets better and better and better.

The house feels empty and flat with only me in it. Stephen's presence brought a life to this house that I never thought I'd feel here. It felt more like home than I ever thought it would. I can't wait for move-in day.

So, just over a week ago I met some of the crew in the Rainbow Chorus and what a lovely bunch they are too, went to an evening with the Conversation Cafe (some of which was treading dangerous ground with topic and subject matter - like questions you always wanted to ask a woman/man! - sexist or what), attended the evening 'do' for Michael and Richard's Civil Partnership where some of the choir sang for them (lovely), walked along the sea-front, ate Indian food, made breakfast cereal, listened to lots of music and generally got on with getting on with each other.

Last week we came home and visited Wilkin's jam shop, cafe and museum, went for a sunset walk and lay under the stars on equinox night, made more breakfast cereal, went to Burnham Carnival and had Chinese take-away with friends.

I'm sure there's more but it was such a full week there would be too much to list here anyway. The upshot is that I want Stephen to move in more than ever and can't wait for December. It seems like a long time to go.

September 08, 2011

My Songline

Bruce Chatwin wrote a book called ‘Songlines’. It is about the Aboriginal peoples of Australia and how they believe that everything was sung into existence. If you know the song you know where you are and where you are going. These people are so in tune with their environment they can find food and water in the desert and make their way from one place to another even though they have never made the journey before.

Puck, you are my songline. My world is being sung into existence with you and because of you.

His name is Stephen.

He is inspirational, passionate, intelligent, inquisitive, sensitive, understanding, funny, serious, playful, encouraging, friendly, warm, accepting, sexy, horny, loving, responsive ….. and I’ve only just started.

He is open and honest to a degree I have never experienced in another person before. In getting to know him I feel I can truly get to know me. I have never felt that ALL my barriers were down with another human being to the extent I do now. I stand before him naked, exposed and unashamed. There is nothing I don’t want him to see or hear, nothing he can’t explore.

We play each other like a musical instrument or orchestra, complementing each note and chord and resonating together in a sweet harmony. He is the final piece of the jigsaw that I never dared hope existed. I feel complete and yet open to completion.

I wrote the following in an email to him recently and it sums up how I feel. And yet the feeling changes and shifts; it stretches and becomes stronger and more yearning, it expands and focuses itself to a pinpoint, it sears and soothes. This is like nothing I have ever experienced before:

“I want to love you like there’s no tomorrow and only this moment in time. I want to grow strong with you and give you my strength. I want to stay in bed with you for ever and walk under a bright moon and dance in the thunderstorm all at once. I want to perform ritual with you, awash with incense and love and lust. I want us to worship each other’s bodies. I want to drown in you. My mind and body are your mind and body. My soul is yours for the taking. I offer myself up to you completely and unconditionally.”

Put simply, I love you.